More Cruel Jokes!

CHURCH
A church service at a little town always include a group reading of the Twenty-Third Psalm. One Palm Sunday a visitor with a shrill, penetrating voice got about ten words ahead of the rest of the congregation at the beginning and resolutely maintained her lead to the very end.
At the end of the service, one longtime member asked another, "Who was that irritating lady who was always by the still waters while the rest of us were lying down in gren pastures?"


The following Sunday, Mr. Walters got up and walked out right in the middle of my sermon. I asked his wife if I had somehow offended him. Her reply: "It was nothing personal, Reverend. He was just sleepwalking."



COMMUNICATION
An American visiting England walked into a hotel lobby and pushed a button for elevator service. "The lift will be down presently," said a nearby clerk.
"The lift?" said the American. "Oh, you mean the elevator."
"No, I mean the lift," replied the Englishman, annoyed by the American's arrogance.
"I think I should know what it's called," said the American. "After all, elevators were invented in the United States."
"Perhaps," retorted the Englishman. "But the language was invented here."