Jokes Are Cruel!

PROCRASTINATION
Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.

I have not yet begun to procrastinate!

PSYCHIATRY
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions that your wife asks you for free.

OREO PSYCHO-PERSONALITY TEST
Psychiatrists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Which method best describes your favourite approach?
1. The whole thing in one bite.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles, examining the results of each bite.
4. In little feverish nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee, hot chocolate...)
6. The inside first.
7. The inside only.
8. The outside only.
9. Just lick them, not eat them.
10. Don't have a favourite way, because I don't like Oreos.

Your personality
1. The whole thing in one bite
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's ok, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with everything you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to the speed limit.

4. Little feverish nibbles
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Retalin would do you good.

5. Dunked
Everyone likes you because you are always upbeat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call your life. You have propensity towards narcotic addition.

6. The inside first
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though you're not always able to put them back together, so you destroy the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behaviour.

7. The inside only
You are good at business and take risks that pay of. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself, but that's okay. You don't care, you got yours.

8. The outside only
You enjoy pain.

9. Just like to lick them, not eat them
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.

10. Don't have a favourite way because I don't like Oreo cookies
You probably come from a richly family and like to wear nice things and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. there's just no pleasing you.